True Nakedness

My experience (almost) baring it all…

This recent full moon has seriously shown me that no matter how much I think I’m in control.. this world is still greater than I. The last few days has been so off for me. I have felt completely disconnected to everyone around me, myself, and the Earth. Even trying to do the simplest tasks have been nothing but challenging. Picking out an outfit to wear left me laying on the floor, making loud angry noises, finding something to eat resulted in an outburst of tears and an overwhelming feeling of pity for myself. Home all alone, and I am acting completely out of control.

What to do?

A good friend of mine and I had plans to have a beach day. In my state, I wasn’t sure how I was going to accomplish this… It was already mid afternoon and I was still at step 1 in my daily activities. I called him to tell him what I was going through, not really expecting him to fully understand what I was expressing.. but to my surprise he understood fully. What a lovely Universe to give me friends like this… So grateful.

He told me he was having the same issues today, I suddenly felt a little bit more love come my way. Even though I couldn’t exactly handle being in public, or in anyone’s company, I wanted to be in his. We proceeded to meet, and went out to Wreck Beach. If you are not from Vancouver, Wreck is the only beach you are free to bare all, if you so desire to. I had never been here before.

The second, and I mean the very second we got there, my inner and outer states did a complete 180. I felt at peace with all these carefree and accepting souls. I felt at home, and rejuvenated. I bought a dress as soon as we got there, from one of the vendors set up.. to me this dress symbolized a different world. I| was a different person here, I was natural here, I was just me.

I took off my dress and bared my breasts… the few nerves I had left me instantly. I could breathe. I felt inspired by everyone I was sharing this space with. Watching people walking around smiling, loving, and accepting everyone else, bodies and minds. What a fucking beautiful place. Looking into the eyes of my gorgeous friend made me smile, this is what life is about. Life is about peace, beauty, happiness, laughter, sunlight, nature, connection. I was hit with a profound realization I am in charge of all these things for myself. I do not need to succumb to anything less, I am a powerful force meant to exist in my highest form and capabilities. All those things that seemed heavy before, were now blessings along my path… bringing me to this point of change.

It became crystal clear that I must channel my creative and sexual energies to serve both others and myself. I am blessed with a beautiful body, and am surrounded by love everywhere I go. So easy it is to get lost and become weak.

I am carefree. I am pure love.

I have talents. I have two hands I can make things with. I have gifts to give to others, I am here to serve. I can live by serving. When there is passion, there is a path. I am taking the first steps towards an amazing future.

I live in a world where no limits exist. I am CAPABLE. I am FREE. Today I start living as I want to, living in my desires, and creating a world I thrive in and am in love with.

My eyes, heart, soul, mind and body are opening.

No More “Sorry’s”!

Lately I have come across a few articles, videos and speeches about apologizing.
Let me ask you something: how many times today have you said “I’m sorry”?
Really think about it.

For me, this started years ago… I recognized and heard myself countless times, apologizing for things that are of my human rights. I caught myself saying sorry, when I was really sorry for nothing at all!

Have you ever spoken your mind, and then apologized for it straight after? Not because you are sorry, but to most likely appease the other person’s feelings. How about that time where you  almost walked right into someone turning a corner, and both of you were quick to verbalize everything you are sorry for. Why are we sorry for having opinions, expressing ourselves, turning a corner…living!? Why have we begun to incorporate this phrase into our everyday activities and experiences?

There is something very small about apologizing when no apology is necessary, it is disempowering. Our words are ours to choose, and our words are how we portray ourselves. We are born with the freedom, and the service to say what we mean, and mean what we say. We are holding out on the world, if we are holding out on ourselves. The world doesn’t need “I am sorry”… she needs “I am.”

Powerful examples of “I am”:

1. I am honest with myself, and others.
2. I laugh when a stranger and I almost run into each other, it reminds me to take some time to slow down and appreciate fully.
3. I can tell someone news opposite of what they desire, without apologizing based on their feelings.
4. I am secure with myself to know when to apologize so I genuinely mean it.
5. I love myself so much, that I do not alter who or what I am.

I personally have had it with the useless apologies. There is absolutely nothing sexy about it… agree?
It’s about time we all learn to just BE- without feeling guilty about it.

Peace and Love as always,

~Jasmine

Learning To Live Fearlessly

“There are two days in the week about which and upon which I never worry… Yesterday and Tomorrow.”
~Robert Jones Burdette

I want to start this off by asking: “how many of your worries and fears have actually taken place?” Most of our fears end up only happening in our heads, over and over, but never in reality. Does this seem as out of balance to you as it does me?

When it comes to my own life, I’ve been recognizing some of the fears I live out and believe subconsciously. A few times I have been able to see a hidden belief I’m living out, in turn creating it to happen. Having the ability to introspectively see myself clearly, I am able to shift my outlook in order to change my actions as well as the outcome. While there are many more ways to cut unhealthy fear from your life, here are a few that I personally find help me:

1. Think Positively. Ever heard of the saying “what you see is what you get?” well it’s the same with thinking. Thinking is envisioning something in our minds and whatever it is we envision sets the tone of what we are allowing to come into our lives. Do you want to make more money? Imagine making more money as something that is inevitable, instead of a slim possibility. In order for something to happen, we have to make it happen. Everything begins in our minds, which then vibrate out into the universe. Positive thoughts and reinforcement is invaluable in creating what we want to have and happen in our lives.

2. Have The Courage To Pursue. Courage is a key word when it comes to living fearlessly (or almost fearless anyway). Determine what it is you want to accomplish along with what kind of life you want to be living daily and then take action! Keeping fear in your mind and in your thoughts about who and what you are, is only helping you soak that fear up. Instead, focus on the fact that YOU hold all the power you need in succeeding. Believe in yourself and your capabilities; you might even surprise yourself!

3. Let Go. Worries? Who needs them? Letting go of all your limiting fear-based ideas and beliefs will not only help you feel incredibly lighter, but will also boost your mood and make room for positive, more confident thought patterns. Realize that it is not your responsibility to control every aspect of every situation, understanding that everything is as it should be. Let go of any expectations that were never fulfilled and move on! Staying in a place you know cannot change, is not self-serving, get out of there and create new outcomes with your new freedom.

4. Love Yourself. The first person we should give unconditional love to, is ourselves. If we don’t love ourselves, complete with our “mistakes”and “flaws”, how do we attract love and good things in our lives? Learning to accept who you are and loving your authentic self will help wash away a lot of fears you may not even know you had. Don’t let other people and your fears stop you from dancing to that beautiful song, stop you from taking risks, or stop you from speaking your mind. Whatever the outcome is, it is much better than limiting who you are, and who you can be. Loving yourself completely will prevent you from feeding into the worry if something does not work out as you hope. Results do not define who you are, you are defined by how you got there.

Fearful living takes a lot more energy than fearless living. At the end of the day, we just need to hold awareness of where we are sending our energy and focus. Once you start incorporating more of a fearless mindset, (if you haven’t already),  you will begin to experience life’s moments at a whole new level, one of lightness and enjoyment. Here’s to living on the lighter side!

-Love and Peace, J.

Are They Right For You? 5 Important Things To Ask Yourself

This is something I’ve been asking myself recently. Throughout my life I have attracted men easily which nearly always goes hand in hand with a long list of boyfriends. After my last relationship ended (this past January), I decided the next person I was going to give my body, mind and spirit to would be someone who I felt was completely right for me. This someone would match my soul, fit in with my life’s purpose, as well as cherish and uplift all that I am as a woman. In past relationships I found myself giving my needs or beliefs up, simply because my partner thought differently. Well…! There will be no more of that!

Too many times have I not paid attention to those warning signs in the beginning stages (that are always there), or not take into consideration my friends’ and family’s opinions. In my life, I have reached a point where quite frankly, am sick of spending time and energy, as well as enduring the disappointment and pain that follows all those failed relationships. What’s almost worse, is the right person you may have been able to find if you weren’t so focused on the wrong person. Part of figuring if someone is right for you or not entails not getting blindsided by what we all know as lust, crushing, or “the honeymoon stage.”

Questions I found helpful to ask before committing:

1. What do they expect out of this relationship? What do they expect of you? This might seem like a given, but it is one of the most valuable questions you can ask your partner, as well as yourself. Are they looking to be open or exclusive? Monogamous or polygamous? What is considered cheating? Other people’s views can differ greatly so it is important to never  assume that you know and to discuss what both of you are looking for. If by circumstance, you two hold different views on what is functional and healthy, try to discuss a basis on which you both are comfortable with. If no basis can be reached, don’t settle for what they expect of you. You know best as to what will work and fit into your life, and how you can optimally serve the relationship. Settling will only bring resentment or betrayal in your future together. It is always best to stay true to what you believe in, as hard as it may be to find, rather than commit yourself to something you won’t be able to stay committed to.

2. Are there any unhealthy/destructive habits or patterns? Have you noticed any behaviors that may be problematic in the future? As humans we are not perfect which in turn brings each of us our own imperfections. Things like leaving the toilet seat up are not what I mean by bad habits. Does this person try to dictate or control your actions and decisions? Do they tend to pick fights for no reason at all? What about how they fight? There are many ways we can choose to live out of fear and bad habit. Having a partner that hasn’t cleaned out the ghosts of their pasts or rid themselves of limiting fears will always find ways to bring that into your relationship. Whether they keep it in the form of jealousy, control, sensitivity, paranoia… it will be a strain on what you two are trying to create. Talking to them about their family life, and past relationships may help them to let go of these toxins. One thing to remember though is that you are not there to fix them. We are all responsible for our own experiences and lessons.

3. What kind of attitude do they hold in regards to their past? Future? Are they generally positive or negative? Do they blame others for past experiences? For anyone wanting to be able to put in %100, acceptance and responsibility needs to be put into action. Whatever happens in our world, we are responsible for. When we hold onto and live in fear, we create that fear. When we are able to love ourselves, accept, smile and look to the future, a future can exist. Like many others, I experienced creating exactly what I did not want. After I had been cheated on and betrayed, I played out that experience again by believing it was inevitable, and guess what? Where your intention lies, your destiny does also. Pay close attention to the attitudes that they express to you, as well as your own. This is a great way to acknowledge the things that may have slipped your (or their) letting go.

4. How does their ideal life fit in with your ideal life? What kind of career do they have, or are pursuing? Do they want a family? Marriage? Any desire to travel? More importantly, if you haven’t already, ask yourself these questions! The last thing you want is to find yourself in a life you never really wanted in the first place. Deciding what is important in your future will help filter out all the people who will just slow down your journey and pace of getting there. Think about what you can and can’t live without; the kind of relationship you want in the future. Two of my favorite words: Never Settle!

5. Do they accept you for who you are, unconditionally? Last but definitely not least… personally, this is where my deal-breaker lies. Do they communicate and express how much they love (or like) everything that makes you, you? Do they look at your past choices or “mistakes” (I believe nothing is a mistake) with judgment and ridicule, or acceptance and understanding? In a healthy relationship, both parties need to have the freedom of expression, without their partner’s impending expectations or disapproval. If you or your partner are holding onto any discrimination, disrespect or judgment in any form, love cannot and will not flourish. Love needs air to breathe and grow, it cannot grow in an environment full of restraint, fear and worry.

 

“You cannot save people, but you can love them. And that might just be enough”
–unknown

-Love and Peace, J.

Are Your Friends, True Friends?

“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” -William Shakespeare

A question I asked myself lately was: Are my friends really my friends? Do they enhance, uplift and bring positivity in my life? Or do they darken, drain, and leave me feeling angry or alone?

In some cases, the answer was a little unnerving. I found myself looking for excuses and fighting my own intuition and knowledge. What is it that makes us hold on to bad or un-serving relationships for so long? Well, this one’s easy: You have a heart! You my friend, are a true friend, one who fights for those out of pure love and promise. Naturally things and people that aren’t aligned with your path tend to wean themselves out, but what if they don’t? How can you tell if your friends are true friends?

If you have been asking yourself this lately, chances are there are a few changes you need to be making.

1. You leave feeling drained or angry. I have had this all too much. Even a simple lunch or movie date with a chronically negative or self-absorbed “friend” will have you feeling very undervalued, and unnoticed. How many times have you listened to this person rant, and complain about their lives and situations, but as soon as you feel like sharing or expressing yourself, they tune out? No matter how attentive or positive you may be, they end up taking all that energy away from you, leaving you feeling robbed. People like this could have been great friends in the past, which is why we hold on to the friendship, even though it has changed. No longer is this person bringing light in your life, they are stealing it! Understand that you cannot help them as they need to be helped, they must do that themselves.

Of course, it is a much different story if a friend is going through a temporary hard time. I am in no way condoning that you drop people out of your life because of temporary circumstance. Friends are meant to be there in those hard times. I am more or so, talking about that friend who has treated you like this for years, or however long you feel is too long!

2. You change the way you are around them. Finding yourself changing your personality with certain people is not a good sign. Friends are most likely the people you spend the most time with and if this time is causing you to alter yourself it is not serving you, and neither are they.  Gossiping when you usually don’t, dressing differently, not feeling free to express yourself or going against your personal and moral beliefs are all signs that this friendship will crush your spirit, instead of lifting it. It’s important to recognize who you are around these “friends,” and how it’s affecting your well-being.

3. You don’t feel they bring you closer to your goals. This is where they either “uplift” you or “drain” you. Any goals, dreams and aspirations should be understood and supported by your closest friends. Last week, I noticed that the person I see as my best friend, kept putting down or adding negative comments to everything I tried sharing. Comments like “that’s weird” or letting me know of all the obstacles I’ll have to get through, aka: “You have a slim chance of succeeding” are not positive or supportive in any way. If I chose to listen and buy into the fear she was trying to create, I would get nowhere. How long has this been unconsciously happening with this friend? Listen and notice how your friends choose to show you love and encouragement (or lack thereof).

4. There is constant friction. Friends who you frequently find yourself colliding with, or hard to be around, shows that neither of you are on the same page, or in the same place. What benefit is there of a “friendship” that holds more hard, stubborn times, than simple, flowing times? Either you, or the other is looking for one thing: Conflict. Choosing to have people close to you when you agree on nothing, have completely different outlooks, hold interests that clash or even receiving constant pain and disappointment are signs this relationship is toxic. It is perfectly fine and healthy to let go of friends who bring in drama.

“Never have a companion that casts you in the shade.” -Baltasar Gracian

Ultimately, if you take the time and commitment to look at the people closest to you, you will be able to decide what the best thing for you to do is. Using your inner and higher intuition will enable you to create the relationships and life you want. Remember, you cannot serve your friends, if you do not serve yourself. Allowing toxic friendships to remain, is not an act of self-love, it is self-draining. Look at your closest friends, as they are probably your biggest influences. Letting go of people who don’t fit with your life’s intentions, makes room for others to come in. Attract it!

“Respect yourself and others will respect you.” – Confucius

-love and peace, J.

Forgive Yourself First

“It’s not just other people we need to forgive, we also need to forgive ourselves.”
Ourselves?
“Yes, for all the things we didn’t do. All the things we should have done. You can’t get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened. That doesn’t help you when you get to where I am.”
-Morrie, “Tuesday’s With Morrie”-Mitch Albom

Most of us know that forgiveness plays an important part of our lives and our relationships. We know that in order to continue flourishing, we need to let go of grudges, release past emotions, and conquer our resentments. But what about that person who so rarely receives your forgiveness? The one who deserves it most?

That person is YOU. Who else in your life is more deserving of your acceptance, understanding and love? Without self forgiveness, and letting go of all the guilt you may carry in your heart, you will be heavily burdened. The time is now to move on from the past. Nothing can be changed, but something can be gained. Gain the wisdom and knowledge by tackling those haunted memories that bring you fear, guilt, insecurities, shame, anger, disappointment, self-doubt and at times depression. Love and accept yourself as an imperfect being, and replace those negatives, with lessons that serve you.

We are all meant to make mistakes, it’s part of what makes life so interesting as without them, we would have no growth. Learn to appreciate your mistakes, and see them as opportunities to grow and improve yourself. Embrace your flaws and let those expectations disappear with the rear view mirror. We are headed towards a new path now!

Live in the present, and stop carrying the past with you. We cannot change or control what has already happened, our powers are effective only when used in the Now, which in turn set the path for our tomorrows’. Free yourself of all past energies that don’t bring value into your life and replace them with new thoughts of positivity and encouragement. Love can and will not exist, when you are focused on anything fear- based.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”  Gandhi

Sometimes we can think of forgiveness as a weakness, as if we are saying it is “okay” to make that mistake, but the act of forgiving is quite the opposite, it is a sign of strength. To forgive, whether it’s for your own mistakes, or what someone else has done, is a gift to yourself; there is nothing more self-serving, than releasing the negative resentments we tend to hold on to for too long.
Let it go. Most of the things we have a hard time letting go of, weren’t initially intended to hurt us but somehow ended up as less desirable outcomes; people make mistakes. Love yourself in order to love others, try to develop the ability to see people and our experiences as lessons. Exercise your mind and heart to release self-limiting attachments, and anything you find stunting your growth.

-love and peace, J.