When It Comes To That Family Thing…Dynamics and All

I woke up today feeling a bit strange, and when I say strange, I might, just might mean.. overwhelmed, stressed, and as if I carry all responsibility.

Today is my beautiful mother’s birthday, “Happy Birthday Mumma dear!” The last week I have been trying to plan something, at least a dinner, or getting together, and neither my sister or mum have been able to answer the phone or respond with any information at all. It’s made me feel a bit overwhelmed, and I’ll say it, annoyed! I don’t feel these types of emotions that often, and I am for the most part, quite relaxed and not easily perturbed, but wow am I feeling this today!

While I want to prevent this post from becoming a rant and something I’ll look back on later with more “enlightenment”… I can’t help but feel the need to verbalize everything I want them to know. I feel undervalued and unappreciated. I naturally take the role of leader in my family, and I truly do exert a lot of energy towards their well-being, needs and wants. I think about them every day and how I can help them and take care of them better, now in the present as well as also in the future.

Is there a greater lesson in all of this for me?

My mother isn’t only my mother, but my sister. My brother isn’t just my brother, but also my friend, and my sister isn’t just a sister to me, but a daughter. They represent so much more to me, and reflect who I am. Each with different and unique personalities, they are beautiful. We have gone through many things, and are still going through a few long-lasting experiences that just haven’t finished with us yet, we love, and try our best.

I should turn this into gratitude.

I really am grateful that I have such beautiful beings to share a family tree with. I have learned invaluable lessons from each of them, and we are all on our own journeys. I am grateful I know I always have people to go to in a time of need, or desperation, or if I ever become very lost. Our love we give each other is unconditional, core-based love; I know I can become anything and I will still be loved.

Much of this weight I feel, I put on my own shoulders. I take over most responsibility, guidance, and leadership, because this is what they require of me. This is my service to them, and the role I have been placed in. I of course have the freedoms to change this, but I know I never will. What I can do is understand that I may not be understood all the time, and in turn be there to understand myself. None of us can truly understand one another completely…

I must also remember that I cannot fix what is not mine.

 

 

Thanks for listening ❤

~Love and Peace,
J.

Do Your Relationships Constantly Leave You Drained?

In my journey recently, I have been led to a place of having and wanting more awareness of who I hold close in my life and which of my friends are actual true friends. Understanding more about myself, and who I genuinely am when all the lights are off with no one around, has brought me to many personal realizations. I have been learning, and accepting the fact that by nature I attract people who in my eyes “need something.” As a giver, I put myself out there, sometimes at personal risk, to help and spend time with these people in order to bring them higher in their lives, whether they are aware they need it or not. This “addiction”of mine, often leaves me feeling deflated, and robbed of my energy after. I know now that how I help people, is by giving them my energy, and taking theirs, as an exchange. This is a common trait of natural born healers.

In order for me to benefit from my friendships and romantic relationships, I must stop seeing everyone as an “assignment” and start loving, accepting, and seeing them only as they are. No longer can I validate such a negative energy exchange, as it truly affects my well-being. It seems I am able to listen for hours on end, to others’ problems, but as soon as I need or want to share something about myself, they tune out, or turn it back around to themselves. This leaves me feeling very undervalued, unappreciated, and alone. I end up resenting my friend, instead of being able to come from a loving and caring place. A healthy relationship, is when both parties lift one another up, and the balance of “give and take” is reciprocated.

What can we do to keep our energy and happiness levels at a constant high? Here are some things I have been experimenting with whenever I find myself feeling drained or compromised.

Practice energy shielding. Shielding means visually creating a cocoon of light around yourself. This only takes a few seconds, and is recommended before you are about to help someone so they can’t transfer any of the toxins they’re releasing to you. Just by holding the intention to shield yourself, makes it happen and puts it into effect. You will notice when you consciously surround yourself with a protective layer of light, you leave feeling just as energized as you came. I learned this technique from Doreen Virtue, one of my favorite spiritual authors. She describes different colours of energy shields in her book “Earth Angels”:

• White Light: Invokes the angels around you to surround you without interruption. The angels protect you, and the ensure that you’re safe and guarded.

• Pink Light: Invoke if you’re with a negative person who’s obsessed with their problems. The pink light sends loving energy outward toward everyone who talks with you, and simultaneously send loving energy inward toward yourself. Nothing can permeate this pink shield except loving thoughts and energies.

• Emerald Light: See or feel yourself surrounded by this light whenever you want to heal some imbalance in your physical body. Your body absorbs this light wherever is needs healing energy.

• Purple Light: Imagine yourself shrouded in royal purple light, which elevates your spiritual frequency, enabling you to rise above problems and contact the highest level of Divine Guidance. This light also bounces away any lower energies, entities, or earthbound spirits.

• Rainbow Light: See or feel yourself wearing a coat of rainbow stripes, which boosts your ability to conduct energy healing work on yourself or others.

Practice energy clearing. In the possibility you forget to shield yourself before an energy exchange, you will want to regularly cleanse and wash away the fear from your own thought, or those of others you have absorbed. Fatigue is the most common effect of these lower energies. Learn to cut your cords. Each person in your life, attach etheric cords to you, when they need something from you. This means that after they leave you, they are still capable of drawing energy from you. In addition, they are able to send toxic energy towards you as well. A good way to do this is to visualize cutting each cord with scissors, or a large knife and feel how thick that energy is that you are releasing from your body.

Connect with nature. When feeling stressed or tired, taking a walk outdoors is one of the best things you could do. More effective than a cup of coffee, live plants and trees hold a gift of drawing toxins out of your mind and body, grounding you and bringing things back into perspective. The energy field in a forest or park, is much different than that of an office or workplace, filled with florescent lights  and stuffy air. There is not one situation where getting outside would not benefit you.

Take a Himalayan-salt bath. Himalayan salt helps draw out toxic energies from your pores. Make sure that the salt has no synthetic scents, or artificial colours, to prevent bringing more chemicals into your body. Works most effective in its raw form.”

“There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.”
– Aldous Huxley

To be able to stay centered and energized in your daily happenings, and with the people who come into your life is a very important skill to learn to contribute to your well-being. However, this goes hand in hand with who you let come into your life, and what negative reoccurring things you have the power of releasing. Why go through all this trouble, with people and things that don’t enhance your life in any way? In this article I write about how to know when it’s time to let go of those who drain us, to make room for more healthy relationships.

-love and peace, J.