True Nakedness

My experience (almost) baring it all…

This recent full moon has seriously shown me that no matter how much I think I’m in control.. this world is still greater than I. The last few days has been so off for me. I have felt completely disconnected to everyone around me, myself, and the Earth. Even trying to do the simplest tasks have been nothing but challenging. Picking out an outfit to wear left me laying on the floor, making loud angry noises, finding something to eat resulted in an outburst of tears and an overwhelming feeling of pity for myself. Home all alone, and I am acting completely out of control.

What to do?

A good friend of mine and I had plans to have a beach day. In my state, I wasn’t sure how I was going to accomplish this… It was already mid afternoon and I was still at step 1 in my daily activities. I called him to tell him what I was going through, not really expecting him to fully understand what I was expressing.. but to my surprise he understood fully. What a lovely Universe to give me friends like this… So grateful.

He told me he was having the same issues today, I suddenly felt a little bit more love come my way. Even though I couldn’t exactly handle being in public, or in anyone’s company, I wanted to be in his. We proceeded to meet, and went out to Wreck Beach. If you are not from Vancouver, Wreck is the only beach you are free to bare all, if you so desire to. I had never been here before.

The second, and I mean the very second we got there, my inner and outer states did a complete 180. I felt at peace with all these carefree and accepting souls. I felt at home, and rejuvenated. I bought a dress as soon as we got there, from one of the vendors set up.. to me this dress symbolized a different world. I| was a different person here, I was natural here, I was just me.

I took off my dress and bared my breasts… the few nerves I had left me instantly. I could breathe. I felt inspired by everyone I was sharing this space with. Watching people walking around smiling, loving, and accepting everyone else, bodies and minds. What a fucking beautiful place. Looking into the eyes of my gorgeous friend made me smile, this is what life is about. Life is about peace, beauty, happiness, laughter, sunlight, nature, connection. I was hit with a profound realization I am in charge of all these things for myself. I do not need to succumb to anything less, I am a powerful force meant to exist in my highest form and capabilities. All those things that seemed heavy before, were now blessings along my path… bringing me to this point of change.

It became crystal clear that I must channel my creative and sexual energies to serve both others and myself. I am blessed with a beautiful body, and am surrounded by love everywhere I go. So easy it is to get lost and become weak.

I am carefree. I am pure love.

I have talents. I have two hands I can make things with. I have gifts to give to others, I am here to serve. I can live by serving. When there is passion, there is a path. I am taking the first steps towards an amazing future.

I live in a world where no limits exist. I am CAPABLE. I am FREE. Today I start living as I want to, living in my desires, and creating a world I thrive in and am in love with.

My eyes, heart, soul, mind and body are opening.

Being Who You Truly Are

There is a wonderful quote I love by Andre Gide-
“It is better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for what you’re not.”

Sigh. That felt good to read.

It can be hard to be your authentic self all the time… in fact I’m convinced nobody has truly succeeded at this. With the amount of people there are in the world, social media, and other people’s standards, it’s easy to feel lost and misunderstood; and even more easy to feel like giving in to what you’re made to think you “should” be instead.

Because of certain things I’ve gone through, the ups and downs, hurts, loves and how I’ve evolved and grown, I of course like everybody, have developed a certain way of living and an idea for myself regarding what I want and need. When it comes to relationships, I desire and feel comfortable with a more “open concept” of loving. I’m talking about a free, boundless love and connection in which both parties don’t live in fear or feed the elements of worry, jealousy, envy, past scar tissue, or act as though the other is their property, in which they only hold rights to. Yes this includes having sex with other people, in a healthy, open, and loving approach.

When I share this with men who are interested in me romantically, whether long-term or short-term, I am met with not respect or efforts of understanding, but anger. Those who I have expressed openly with, have not yet seemed to accept the concepts I speak of, and the emotions and needs I identify with. It can be frustrating, and hurtful at times, as I have been called things such as “dangerous, selfish, slutty, immature, blind, untrustworthy, broken, damaged, stupid, trashy” etc… the list honestly goes on. Why is it that when I open up to people, and be my honest and most authentic self, with only the best intentions of communication, I am given back such ugly responses?

I admit at times, it has felt as if this will never change, and a part of me starts to wonder: “Am I all these things?” How fucked up is that?

I am writing this for those of you who have felt this too because of someone’s, or a group of people’s limited beliefs and mindsets. It’s important to know that there is nothing wrong with you for wanting something different of the social norm, and that whatever you desire is yours to take hold of and achieve. I am at a point where having someone to truly accept me as I am, while helping me grow into a better more conscious person, would be amazing… However, what I need most is to get behind myself, take my control back in order to power through all those detrimental and fear based comments to bring myself into a more enlightened place, where I will attract the right people to appear into my life.

This is my body. This is my mouth. This is my mind. This is my heart. This is my freedom.
And I will use it as I please, with no apologies.

I am done feeling as though I “owe” explanations to others. I am done expending wasting energy explaining who I am to people committed to misunderstanding me. I am ready to let go of caring what people may think of me.

Affirmations:
I am ready to live and love with my whole self.
I understand people may try to hurt me with words and put me down, in order for them to feel safe/secure.
I deserve what I want.
I love myself for all that I am.
I do not judge myself.
I am worthy of love that does not exist in a cage.
I can create ANYTHING.

Remember that you hold all the powers of what happens in your life, if you do not use your own, someone else will use theirs. Let’s take our control back and start proudly representing our highest selves. I love you all.

~Peace and Love,

J.

When It Comes To That Family Thing…Dynamics and All

I woke up today feeling a bit strange, and when I say strange, I might, just might mean.. overwhelmed, stressed, and as if I carry all responsibility.

Today is my beautiful mother’s birthday, “Happy Birthday Mumma dear!” The last week I have been trying to plan something, at least a dinner, or getting together, and neither my sister or mum have been able to answer the phone or respond with any information at all. It’s made me feel a bit overwhelmed, and I’ll say it, annoyed! I don’t feel these types of emotions that often, and I am for the most part, quite relaxed and not easily perturbed, but wow am I feeling this today!

While I want to prevent this post from becoming a rant and something I’ll look back on later with more “enlightenment”… I can’t help but feel the need to verbalize everything I want them to know. I feel undervalued and unappreciated. I naturally take the role of leader in my family, and I truly do exert a lot of energy towards their well-being, needs and wants. I think about them every day and how I can help them and take care of them better, now in the present as well as also in the future.

Is there a greater lesson in all of this for me?

My mother isn’t only my mother, but my sister. My brother isn’t just my brother, but also my friend, and my sister isn’t just a sister to me, but a daughter. They represent so much more to me, and reflect who I am. Each with different and unique personalities, they are beautiful. We have gone through many things, and are still going through a few long-lasting experiences that just haven’t finished with us yet, we love, and try our best.

I should turn this into gratitude.

I really am grateful that I have such beautiful beings to share a family tree with. I have learned invaluable lessons from each of them, and we are all on our own journeys. I am grateful I know I always have people to go to in a time of need, or desperation, or if I ever become very lost. Our love we give each other is unconditional, core-based love; I know I can become anything and I will still be loved.

Much of this weight I feel, I put on my own shoulders. I take over most responsibility, guidance, and leadership, because this is what they require of me. This is my service to them, and the role I have been placed in. I of course have the freedoms to change this, but I know I never will. What I can do is understand that I may not be understood all the time, and in turn be there to understand myself. None of us can truly understand one another completely…

I must also remember that I cannot fix what is not mine.

 

 

Thanks for listening ❤

~Love and Peace,
J.

How You Spend Your Days, Is How You Spend Your Life

So about a month and a half ago I manifested myself a job that I wanted, or thought that I wanted, and while I learned just how powerful my intentions and manifestations can be, I also learned something even more valuable: the importance of staying true.

I’ve worked mostly in the service based industry throughout my working life thus far; the restaurant business to get a bit more exact. Being a vegetarian for pretty well all these years, and going vegan this last year, I’ve always had to make a sacrifice with the food I am serving, recommending (as in pretending to eat and enjoy), and surrounding myself with. I suppose it had never really bothered me, or I didn’t really think too deeply about it. I was used to being the odd one out and having to modify the crap out of everything I ordered. The place I have just started working at is a higher end restaurant, that prides themselves in the food they serve, which hey, I give them credit for and counts for something, as every other place I’ve worked at most of the staff gets sick of the food pretty fast.  But it was when I was cramming the menu in my brain, getting ready for my food test, when I realized, I don’t want any of this knowledge in my head.

Fast forward a bit… I can’t bring myself to enjoy working here. This job would be a means for me to make good money, but you know what? It’s just not worth the sacrifice. I feel like I am betraying who I am every time I go in for a shift, not to mention I’m required to wear heels for those 8 looooooong hours.

THE LESSON:

While the last few weeks have been tiring and only leaving me with achy feet, I am grateful for it all. What better way to realize the importance in how and what you spend your days doing? I have re-affirmed now that I am perfect as I am, and it is not only unnecessary, but unhealthy to try to force myself into a lifestyle and environment in which I don’t fit in.

I have a vision for myself and I am choosing today to stay true to that, keep my goals in sight, and to love the journey getting there . I am striving to be more impeccable with my word, so I will leave respectively and honestly. However, I have already begun manifesting new and more “me” opportunities. While it was never much of a concern of mine in the past, it is for me now to enjoy and love how I spend my days… and my work is naturally a large part of that.

It never feels good to lose alignment with yourself. It can cause you to feel heavy, depressed, confused, lonely and disconnected. At times I even had thoughts that there must be something wrong with me, and that I wasn’t cooperating as I should be. What nonsense! I could see that my progress and state was quickly spiraling, so I sat still, gave myself some love and positive feedback, and allowed myself to express. In a matter of minutes I had all the answers and solutions I needed. Amazing! I say “No!” to molding and doing internal “surgeries” on ourselves, and “Yes!” to some more self lovinnnnn’.

Love and Peace and Smiles,

J.

A Woman’s Essence: A Message and Poem.

She is made of earth
A fuel to fire
Part of that fire
She holds inside, and it burns.

Her fire embraces a life force
With wisdom and desire
The sparkle in her eyes
The understanding in her embrace

She walks along her path
Each one of us different
Sometimes she gets lost and
Struggles to find beauty within herself

The tears that flow
No one else sees
Held in private captivity
Each day a new beginning

Not locked in
But not quite free
She exists in a world
Obsessed with flaws and greed

Days have become personal battles
That line between too skinny
And too fat
Breasts too big, too flat

Our daughters don’t want “to be ugly”
Too scared to be themselves
Unique beauty is hard
Authenticity over-rated

A life where she thrives
A world that supports a girl
As she is, who she is
Is where I want to live.

Ladies:
Empower your feminine
She is your essence
She is your soul, your light
She is the solution of love

Love your face, love your feet
Taste your skin, watch it glow
Your breasts are life givers
Your energy needs to flow

Support your cause, your body
Be a ripple, please
Of change and balance
That our Mother Earth so badly needs.

Meditative Reflections

The view from where I was sitting.

A couple months ago I went on a trip down the coast of California, we stopped in a place called Encinitas to visit a Meditation Garden. It’s located near San Diego, right along the coast of the Pacific Ocean. Most of this trip was a great experience for me to evolve, and recognize certain things I have been letting into my life. This day holds such meaning to me. Once we were there, I found a few places that inspired me to write and ponder, and sat alone only with my pen and notebook. As soon as I sat down, I had a surge of wisdom flow through my pen, I must have wrote this all down in a matter of minutes. I am posting it here simply because someone, like yourself, could possibly relate and benefit from it.

‘Meditative Reflections’

1. Balance yourself, and you balance your world.
2. Do the work to reach your goals and meaning.
3. Positivity = ‘+’, Negativity = ‘-‘
4. Strength comes from self- love.
5. Surround yourself with that and those which enhance.
6. Surround yourself with others who allow you to be you, and who help you be your highest point of self.
7. Everything is perfect.
8. You are more than enough.
9. Love is the only cure.
10. Know yourself, and be yourself.

“The thinking spot.

Every day do something for your goals.
Every day do something for your personal self.
Every day read.
Every day write/ journal.
Every day take care of your body, inside and out.
Every day have an interesting conversation.
Every day hold gratitude.
Every day go outside.
Every day learn something new.
Every day live in love.
Every day express.

Each day we face a thousand ways to jeopardize who we are. To stay true to yourself is one of the hardest things we are faced with. In each situation be you. Act as your highest self would act and let that person you are meant to be, be. Whoever you are, the world needs you naturally and organically, the people in your life need you; you must be of service.

Become Peaceful.
Be Love. Be You.
Be True To What And Who You Are.

I would love for you to share too some of the simple things you have learned along the way…

~Love and Peace, J.

The Power of Femininity

Who is She? She is strong, intuitive, beautiful, innocent, experienced, wise, understanding, loving, affectionate, seductive, confident, sexual, intelligent… these are her powers.

As women, we hold certain powers and intuitions different than the men we share this beautiful earth with. When we restrict ourselves or suppress what makes us shine, smothering our own fire, we create more problems on Mother Earth, as well as in our own lives.

It’s clear today that a shift is being made in how women are viewed, understood and cherished. It is because of this shift, that I am writing this now, and have started my own journey towards getting to know my Goddess self as well as my true potential. However, when an old mindset is changed, or changing, it can be hard to release because of how much resistance these beliefs have been creating.

In every woman lies the sacred ingredients of creation, necessary for regeneration and rebirth. Without the full energies and presence of the Feminine, nothing could be born. The world, right now buried by masculine consciousness, needs the love and attention of the Divine Feminine spirit. In our spirits, we hold the secrets and wisdom in bringing the world’s soul back to being balanced and thriving.

Divine Feminine energy is comprised of qualities such as love, understanding, compassion, nurturing, and empathy with others. It has been mistaken that these qualities are in a sense, weaker than the qualities naturally given to men. This is not true as living our authentic lives, and being a natural woman, is the most empowering action we could take. Too many women, in this age of men, have succumbed to the masculine energy and adopted it as their own, not realizing they are preventing themselves from reaching their highest potential and connection. Each man and woman, hold a delicate balance of yin (f) and yang (m) energy. Being conscious of how much each one is being fed will ensure that you are fully connected to your spirit and that you live the Goddess life you are meant to experience.

A balanced and healthy world is one where men are free to be men, and women free to be women. What a powerful place we would be living in if each person focused more on their personal journey’s and potential. With that said let’s start with ourselves and move outwards, we are no help to anything if we are not helping and embracing ourselves. Allow yourself to express your love and affection for life. Live in full connection.

 

-Love and Peace, J.

Are Your Friends, True Friends?

“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” -William Shakespeare

A question I asked myself lately was: Are my friends really my friends? Do they enhance, uplift and bring positivity in my life? Or do they darken, drain, and leave me feeling angry or alone?

In some cases, the answer was a little unnerving. I found myself looking for excuses and fighting my own intuition and knowledge. What is it that makes us hold on to bad or un-serving relationships for so long? Well, this one’s easy: You have a heart! You my friend, are a true friend, one who fights for those out of pure love and promise. Naturally things and people that aren’t aligned with your path tend to wean themselves out, but what if they don’t? How can you tell if your friends are true friends?

If you have been asking yourself this lately, chances are there are a few changes you need to be making.

1. You leave feeling drained or angry. I have had this all too much. Even a simple lunch or movie date with a chronically negative or self-absorbed “friend” will have you feeling very undervalued, and unnoticed. How many times have you listened to this person rant, and complain about their lives and situations, but as soon as you feel like sharing or expressing yourself, they tune out? No matter how attentive or positive you may be, they end up taking all that energy away from you, leaving you feeling robbed. People like this could have been great friends in the past, which is why we hold on to the friendship, even though it has changed. No longer is this person bringing light in your life, they are stealing it! Understand that you cannot help them as they need to be helped, they must do that themselves.

Of course, it is a much different story if a friend is going through a temporary hard time. I am in no way condoning that you drop people out of your life because of temporary circumstance. Friends are meant to be there in those hard times. I am more or so, talking about that friend who has treated you like this for years, or however long you feel is too long!

2. You change the way you are around them. Finding yourself changing your personality with certain people is not a good sign. Friends are most likely the people you spend the most time with and if this time is causing you to alter yourself it is not serving you, and neither are they.  Gossiping when you usually don’t, dressing differently, not feeling free to express yourself or going against your personal and moral beliefs are all signs that this friendship will crush your spirit, instead of lifting it. It’s important to recognize who you are around these “friends,” and how it’s affecting your well-being.

3. You don’t feel they bring you closer to your goals. This is where they either “uplift” you or “drain” you. Any goals, dreams and aspirations should be understood and supported by your closest friends. Last week, I noticed that the person I see as my best friend, kept putting down or adding negative comments to everything I tried sharing. Comments like “that’s weird” or letting me know of all the obstacles I’ll have to get through, aka: “You have a slim chance of succeeding” are not positive or supportive in any way. If I chose to listen and buy into the fear she was trying to create, I would get nowhere. How long has this been unconsciously happening with this friend? Listen and notice how your friends choose to show you love and encouragement (or lack thereof).

4. There is constant friction. Friends who you frequently find yourself colliding with, or hard to be around, shows that neither of you are on the same page, or in the same place. What benefit is there of a “friendship” that holds more hard, stubborn times, than simple, flowing times? Either you, or the other is looking for one thing: Conflict. Choosing to have people close to you when you agree on nothing, have completely different outlooks, hold interests that clash or even receiving constant pain and disappointment are signs this relationship is toxic. It is perfectly fine and healthy to let go of friends who bring in drama.

“Never have a companion that casts you in the shade.” -Baltasar Gracian

Ultimately, if you take the time and commitment to look at the people closest to you, you will be able to decide what the best thing for you to do is. Using your inner and higher intuition will enable you to create the relationships and life you want. Remember, you cannot serve your friends, if you do not serve yourself. Allowing toxic friendships to remain, is not an act of self-love, it is self-draining. Look at your closest friends, as they are probably your biggest influences. Letting go of people who don’t fit with your life’s intentions, makes room for others to come in. Attract it!

“Respect yourself and others will respect you.” – Confucius

-love and peace, J.

Setting Aside Time For Yourself

Trying to balance work, lunch dates, errands, cleaning, exercise, grocery shopping bla.. bla.. bla.. can make it seem almost impossible to have any left over time during the day for the most important person in your life…YOU!

When we spend most of our days running around, looking for more time, we miss out on what should be a HUGE part of our day: actually enjoying it! How often are you able to just stop, rest, breathe, appreciate, smile or drink that soy latte in peace? For most of us, it’s not often enough. In order to live healthy lives, think more clearly, and nourish our bodies, we need to take some time out for ourselves! I’m talking about calling in “sick” to work days, oh yes… to do absolutely nothing! What would you do if you had a day dedicated only to yourself this week? No errands allowed.

I usually spend most of my days off, as well as my evenings, just doing what I want to do. Sometimes it’s making tea and sitting on the balcony, maybe tackle a few chapters of my current read, sometimes I crave a walk somewhere, on certain long days it’s a nap, or even just sitting at home on the couch with a hot drink watching my wedding shows (guilty pleasure) feels amazing! Whether you are writing, reading, eating, sitting, watching tv, napping, walking, learning something new, catching up on your mani/pedi, getting that massage you’ve so badly needed.. you’re doing it for yourself.

Once you see the value in taking time out, you will never want to go without it again. You will wonder how you managed (I’m sure some of us are barely getting by) before, running such busy schedules without some “me downtime.” What serves you more: Sweeping the floors? Or having a nice hot lavender oil bath? One important thing to remember is don’t judge yourself. If all it is you want to do on a Friday night is order some Chinese, and curl up to a chic-flick, then do it! Be proud to be who you are, and part of that is listening to your desires. Sometimes my friends think I’m weird when I want to head down to the beach by myself, or take myself out to lunch; in my opinion they’re weird! What more important relationship is there than the one you have with yourself?!

Now I don’t know about you but I have a bottle of wine waiting for me…enjoy your “you” time!
I’d love to hear what it is you’re dying to do to cherish yourself more!

-love and peace, J.

The Power of Meditation

 “You are not a body with a soul, rather a soul with a body.” Wayne Dyer

As something I have just recently started, at least seriously, I can already feel the shift and energy it is bringing into my life. Last week, I went to a Heart Chakra meditation which was specifically meant to target our 4th Chakra: Heart. This is our “human” chakra, where we feel emotion; this is where our relationships and how we interact with others is governed. This type of meditation is focussed on releasing any fear and sadness you may be holding, to be replaced with compassion and love. This particular chakra/energy zone is thought of as our “center” as it links both our lower chakras, and upper chakras together. If this chakra is underactive, or overactive, we feel very off-balanced in all areas. It is important to be attuned with what your body is telling you and learn about each of your chakras, to reach your ultimate potential.

Personally, this experience was deeply emotional for me. The setting was very intimate, held in the apartment of the couple who was holding it, with only seven of us present, none of which I really even knew on a personal level. It started with 45 minutes of self-meditation, followed with a time to share for anyone feeling an interest in expressing themselves. Now, you don’t know me, but I am not the person who jumps up and down when someone asks me to share how I’m feeling, in fact I’m the person who finds an excuse to leave the room (hiding in bathrooms is a specialty of mine). But on this particular day, something in my mind was altered. Here I was, very comfortable, relaxed, in touch with myself, around accepting people.. what would be my reason not to? It would only be my very own fears inhibiting my self-expression. So I shared. That alone was a huge step for me, let alone, crying in front of the whole room. But you know what? It was very cleansing, and allowed me to experience the acceptance of other people, strangers really. To experience a place of love by people that held no judgment of what I was telling them, or what emotions I was showing, was an experience of pure joy. I cannot express what I have learned about the power of expression.

The only reason I was able to experience this was because I had cleared my mind and body of any thoughts that were self-limiting. This is exactly, in my opinion, the power of meditation. To erase any feelings and re-occuring thoughts and worries of the day, for even just 5 minutes of  your day can be extremely beneficial. When you think about how many thoughts the average person has a day (I’ve read it’s close to 70,000), no wonder clearing your mind can be so invigorating. As we clear out the clutter, we give ourselves a “clean slate,” giving us the opportunity to start fresh from that point on. What a free-ing concept!

What reason do you have not to meditate? No time? No motivation? It doesn’t take much for one to see positive effects of clearing the mind, a mere 10 minutes a day would be sufficient to start with. I’d recommend taking 5 minutes when you wake up to sit in silence, maybe on the balcony, or in your backyard.. somewhere you won’t be disturbed. Along with this morning routine, it is helpful to take another 5 minutes before bed to allow yourself to “de-brief” from the day and detach from all our inner chaos we collect throughout the day in the life of our fabulous self! I promise you, that by only ten minutes a day, you will see reduced stress levels in yourself, along with less anxiety and a more peace of mind/inner calm.

-love and peace, J.