When It Comes To That Family Thing…Dynamics and All

I woke up today feeling a bit strange, and when I say strange, I might, just might mean.. overwhelmed, stressed, and as if I carry all responsibility.

Today is my beautiful mother’s birthday, “Happy Birthday Mumma dear!” The last week I have been trying to plan something, at least a dinner, or getting together, and neither my sister or mum have been able to answer the phone or respond with any information at all. It’s made me feel a bit overwhelmed, and I’ll say it, annoyed! I don’t feel these types of emotions that often, and I am for the most part, quite relaxed and not easily perturbed, but wow am I feeling this today!

While I want to prevent this post from becoming a rant and something I’ll look back on later with more “enlightenment”… I can’t help but feel the need to verbalize everything I want them to know. I feel undervalued and unappreciated. I naturally take the role of leader in my family, and I truly do exert a lot of energy towards their well-being, needs and wants. I think about them every day and how I can help them and take care of them better, now in the present as well as also in the future.

Is there a greater lesson in all of this for me?

My mother isn’t only my mother, but my sister. My brother isn’t just my brother, but also my friend, and my sister isn’t just a sister to me, but a daughter. They represent so much more to me, and reflect who I am. Each with different and unique personalities, they are beautiful. We have gone through many things, and are still going through a few long-lasting experiences that just haven’t finished with us yet, we love, and try our best.

I should turn this into gratitude.

I really am grateful that I have such beautiful beings to share a family tree with. I have learned invaluable lessons from each of them, and we are all on our own journeys. I am grateful I know I always have people to go to in a time of need, or desperation, or if I ever become very lost. Our love we give each other is unconditional, core-based love; I know I can become anything and I will still be loved.

Much of this weight I feel, I put on my own shoulders. I take over most responsibility, guidance, and leadership, because this is what they require of me. This is my service to them, and the role I have been placed in. I of course have the freedoms to change this, but I know I never will. What I can do is understand that I may not be understood all the time, and in turn be there to understand myself. None of us can truly understand one another completely…

I must also remember that I cannot fix what is not mine.

 

 

Thanks for listening ❤

~Love and Peace,
J.

A Woman’s Essence: A Message and Poem.

She is made of earth
A fuel to fire
Part of that fire
She holds inside, and it burns.

Her fire embraces a life force
With wisdom and desire
The sparkle in her eyes
The understanding in her embrace

She walks along her path
Each one of us different
Sometimes she gets lost and
Struggles to find beauty within herself

The tears that flow
No one else sees
Held in private captivity
Each day a new beginning

Not locked in
But not quite free
She exists in a world
Obsessed with flaws and greed

Days have become personal battles
That line between too skinny
And too fat
Breasts too big, too flat

Our daughters don’t want “to be ugly”
Too scared to be themselves
Unique beauty is hard
Authenticity over-rated

A life where she thrives
A world that supports a girl
As she is, who she is
Is where I want to live.

Ladies:
Empower your feminine
She is your essence
She is your soul, your light
She is the solution of love

Love your face, love your feet
Taste your skin, watch it glow
Your breasts are life givers
Your energy needs to flow

Support your cause, your body
Be a ripple, please
Of change and balance
That our Mother Earth so badly needs.

Meditative Reflections

The view from where I was sitting.

A couple months ago I went on a trip down the coast of California, we stopped in a place called Encinitas to visit a Meditation Garden. It’s located near San Diego, right along the coast of the Pacific Ocean. Most of this trip was a great experience for me to evolve, and recognize certain things I have been letting into my life. This day holds such meaning to me. Once we were there, I found a few places that inspired me to write and ponder, and sat alone only with my pen and notebook. As soon as I sat down, I had a surge of wisdom flow through my pen, I must have wrote this all down in a matter of minutes. I am posting it here simply because someone, like yourself, could possibly relate and benefit from it.

‘Meditative Reflections’

1. Balance yourself, and you balance your world.
2. Do the work to reach your goals and meaning.
3. Positivity = ‘+’, Negativity = ‘-‘
4. Strength comes from self- love.
5. Surround yourself with that and those which enhance.
6. Surround yourself with others who allow you to be you, and who help you be your highest point of self.
7. Everything is perfect.
8. You are more than enough.
9. Love is the only cure.
10. Know yourself, and be yourself.

“The thinking spot.

Every day do something for your goals.
Every day do something for your personal self.
Every day read.
Every day write/ journal.
Every day take care of your body, inside and out.
Every day have an interesting conversation.
Every day hold gratitude.
Every day go outside.
Every day learn something new.
Every day live in love.
Every day express.

Each day we face a thousand ways to jeopardize who we are. To stay true to yourself is one of the hardest things we are faced with. In each situation be you. Act as your highest self would act and let that person you are meant to be, be. Whoever you are, the world needs you naturally and organically, the people in your life need you; you must be of service.

Become Peaceful.
Be Love. Be You.
Be True To What And Who You Are.

I would love for you to share too some of the simple things you have learned along the way…

~Love and Peace, J.

The Power of Femininity

Who is She? She is strong, intuitive, beautiful, innocent, experienced, wise, understanding, loving, affectionate, seductive, confident, sexual, intelligent… these are her powers.

As women, we hold certain powers and intuitions different than the men we share this beautiful earth with. When we restrict ourselves or suppress what makes us shine, smothering our own fire, we create more problems on Mother Earth, as well as in our own lives.

It’s clear today that a shift is being made in how women are viewed, understood and cherished. It is because of this shift, that I am writing this now, and have started my own journey towards getting to know my Goddess self as well as my true potential. However, when an old mindset is changed, or changing, it can be hard to release because of how much resistance these beliefs have been creating.

In every woman lies the sacred ingredients of creation, necessary for regeneration and rebirth. Without the full energies and presence of the Feminine, nothing could be born. The world, right now buried by masculine consciousness, needs the love and attention of the Divine Feminine spirit. In our spirits, we hold the secrets and wisdom in bringing the world’s soul back to being balanced and thriving.

Divine Feminine energy is comprised of qualities such as love, understanding, compassion, nurturing, and empathy with others. It has been mistaken that these qualities are in a sense, weaker than the qualities naturally given to men. This is not true as living our authentic lives, and being a natural woman, is the most empowering action we could take. Too many women, in this age of men, have succumbed to the masculine energy and adopted it as their own, not realizing they are preventing themselves from reaching their highest potential and connection. Each man and woman, hold a delicate balance of yin (f) and yang (m) energy. Being conscious of how much each one is being fed will ensure that you are fully connected to your spirit and that you live the Goddess life you are meant to experience.

A balanced and healthy world is one where men are free to be men, and women free to be women. What a powerful place we would be living in if each person focused more on their personal journey’s and potential. With that said let’s start with ourselves and move outwards, we are no help to anything if we are not helping and embracing ourselves. Allow yourself to express your love and affection for life. Live in full connection.

 

-Love and Peace, J.

Do Your Relationships Constantly Leave You Drained?

In my journey recently, I have been led to a place of having and wanting more awareness of who I hold close in my life and which of my friends are actual true friends. Understanding more about myself, and who I genuinely am when all the lights are off with no one around, has brought me to many personal realizations. I have been learning, and accepting the fact that by nature I attract people who in my eyes “need something.” As a giver, I put myself out there, sometimes at personal risk, to help and spend time with these people in order to bring them higher in their lives, whether they are aware they need it or not. This “addiction”of mine, often leaves me feeling deflated, and robbed of my energy after. I know now that how I help people, is by giving them my energy, and taking theirs, as an exchange. This is a common trait of natural born healers.

In order for me to benefit from my friendships and romantic relationships, I must stop seeing everyone as an “assignment” and start loving, accepting, and seeing them only as they are. No longer can I validate such a negative energy exchange, as it truly affects my well-being. It seems I am able to listen for hours on end, to others’ problems, but as soon as I need or want to share something about myself, they tune out, or turn it back around to themselves. This leaves me feeling very undervalued, unappreciated, and alone. I end up resenting my friend, instead of being able to come from a loving and caring place. A healthy relationship, is when both parties lift one another up, and the balance of “give and take” is reciprocated.

What can we do to keep our energy and happiness levels at a constant high? Here are some things I have been experimenting with whenever I find myself feeling drained or compromised.

Practice energy shielding. Shielding means visually creating a cocoon of light around yourself. This only takes a few seconds, and is recommended before you are about to help someone so they can’t transfer any of the toxins they’re releasing to you. Just by holding the intention to shield yourself, makes it happen and puts it into effect. You will notice when you consciously surround yourself with a protective layer of light, you leave feeling just as energized as you came. I learned this technique from Doreen Virtue, one of my favorite spiritual authors. She describes different colours of energy shields in her book “Earth Angels”:

• White Light: Invokes the angels around you to surround you without interruption. The angels protect you, and the ensure that you’re safe and guarded.

• Pink Light: Invoke if you’re with a negative person who’s obsessed with their problems. The pink light sends loving energy outward toward everyone who talks with you, and simultaneously send loving energy inward toward yourself. Nothing can permeate this pink shield except loving thoughts and energies.

• Emerald Light: See or feel yourself surrounded by this light whenever you want to heal some imbalance in your physical body. Your body absorbs this light wherever is needs healing energy.

• Purple Light: Imagine yourself shrouded in royal purple light, which elevates your spiritual frequency, enabling you to rise above problems and contact the highest level of Divine Guidance. This light also bounces away any lower energies, entities, or earthbound spirits.

• Rainbow Light: See or feel yourself wearing a coat of rainbow stripes, which boosts your ability to conduct energy healing work on yourself or others.

Practice energy clearing. In the possibility you forget to shield yourself before an energy exchange, you will want to regularly cleanse and wash away the fear from your own thought, or those of others you have absorbed. Fatigue is the most common effect of these lower energies. Learn to cut your cords. Each person in your life, attach etheric cords to you, when they need something from you. This means that after they leave you, they are still capable of drawing energy from you. In addition, they are able to send toxic energy towards you as well. A good way to do this is to visualize cutting each cord with scissors, or a large knife and feel how thick that energy is that you are releasing from your body.

Connect with nature. When feeling stressed or tired, taking a walk outdoors is one of the best things you could do. More effective than a cup of coffee, live plants and trees hold a gift of drawing toxins out of your mind and body, grounding you and bringing things back into perspective. The energy field in a forest or park, is much different than that of an office or workplace, filled with florescent lights  and stuffy air. There is not one situation where getting outside would not benefit you.

Take a Himalayan-salt bath. Himalayan salt helps draw out toxic energies from your pores. Make sure that the salt has no synthetic scents, or artificial colours, to prevent bringing more chemicals into your body. Works most effective in its raw form.”

“There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.”
– Aldous Huxley

To be able to stay centered and energized in your daily happenings, and with the people who come into your life is a very important skill to learn to contribute to your well-being. However, this goes hand in hand with who you let come into your life, and what negative reoccurring things you have the power of releasing. Why go through all this trouble, with people and things that don’t enhance your life in any way? In this article I write about how to know when it’s time to let go of those who drain us, to make room for more healthy relationships.

-love and peace, J.

Setting Aside Time For Yourself

Trying to balance work, lunch dates, errands, cleaning, exercise, grocery shopping bla.. bla.. bla.. can make it seem almost impossible to have any left over time during the day for the most important person in your life…YOU!

When we spend most of our days running around, looking for more time, we miss out on what should be a HUGE part of our day: actually enjoying it! How often are you able to just stop, rest, breathe, appreciate, smile or drink that soy latte in peace? For most of us, it’s not often enough. In order to live healthy lives, think more clearly, and nourish our bodies, we need to take some time out for ourselves! I’m talking about calling in “sick” to work days, oh yes… to do absolutely nothing! What would you do if you had a day dedicated only to yourself this week? No errands allowed.

I usually spend most of my days off, as well as my evenings, just doing what I want to do. Sometimes it’s making tea and sitting on the balcony, maybe tackle a few chapters of my current read, sometimes I crave a walk somewhere, on certain long days it’s a nap, or even just sitting at home on the couch with a hot drink watching my wedding shows (guilty pleasure) feels amazing! Whether you are writing, reading, eating, sitting, watching tv, napping, walking, learning something new, catching up on your mani/pedi, getting that massage you’ve so badly needed.. you’re doing it for yourself.

Once you see the value in taking time out, you will never want to go without it again. You will wonder how you managed (I’m sure some of us are barely getting by) before, running such busy schedules without some “me downtime.” What serves you more: Sweeping the floors? Or having a nice hot lavender oil bath? One important thing to remember is don’t judge yourself. If all it is you want to do on a Friday night is order some Chinese, and curl up to a chic-flick, then do it! Be proud to be who you are, and part of that is listening to your desires. Sometimes my friends think I’m weird when I want to head down to the beach by myself, or take myself out to lunch; in my opinion they’re weird! What more important relationship is there than the one you have with yourself?!

Now I don’t know about you but I have a bottle of wine waiting for me…enjoy your “you” time!
I’d love to hear what it is you’re dying to do to cherish yourself more!

-love and peace, J.

The Power of Meditation

 “You are not a body with a soul, rather a soul with a body.” Wayne Dyer

As something I have just recently started, at least seriously, I can already feel the shift and energy it is bringing into my life. Last week, I went to a Heart Chakra meditation which was specifically meant to target our 4th Chakra: Heart. This is our “human” chakra, where we feel emotion; this is where our relationships and how we interact with others is governed. This type of meditation is focussed on releasing any fear and sadness you may be holding, to be replaced with compassion and love. This particular chakra/energy zone is thought of as our “center” as it links both our lower chakras, and upper chakras together. If this chakra is underactive, or overactive, we feel very off-balanced in all areas. It is important to be attuned with what your body is telling you and learn about each of your chakras, to reach your ultimate potential.

Personally, this experience was deeply emotional for me. The setting was very intimate, held in the apartment of the couple who was holding it, with only seven of us present, none of which I really even knew on a personal level. It started with 45 minutes of self-meditation, followed with a time to share for anyone feeling an interest in expressing themselves. Now, you don’t know me, but I am not the person who jumps up and down when someone asks me to share how I’m feeling, in fact I’m the person who finds an excuse to leave the room (hiding in bathrooms is a specialty of mine). But on this particular day, something in my mind was altered. Here I was, very comfortable, relaxed, in touch with myself, around accepting people.. what would be my reason not to? It would only be my very own fears inhibiting my self-expression. So I shared. That alone was a huge step for me, let alone, crying in front of the whole room. But you know what? It was very cleansing, and allowed me to experience the acceptance of other people, strangers really. To experience a place of love by people that held no judgment of what I was telling them, or what emotions I was showing, was an experience of pure joy. I cannot express what I have learned about the power of expression.

The only reason I was able to experience this was because I had cleared my mind and body of any thoughts that were self-limiting. This is exactly, in my opinion, the power of meditation. To erase any feelings and re-occuring thoughts and worries of the day, for even just 5 minutes of  your day can be extremely beneficial. When you think about how many thoughts the average person has a day (I’ve read it’s close to 70,000), no wonder clearing your mind can be so invigorating. As we clear out the clutter, we give ourselves a “clean slate,” giving us the opportunity to start fresh from that point on. What a free-ing concept!

What reason do you have not to meditate? No time? No motivation? It doesn’t take much for one to see positive effects of clearing the mind, a mere 10 minutes a day would be sufficient to start with. I’d recommend taking 5 minutes when you wake up to sit in silence, maybe on the balcony, or in your backyard.. somewhere you won’t be disturbed. Along with this morning routine, it is helpful to take another 5 minutes before bed to allow yourself to “de-brief” from the day and detach from all our inner chaos we collect throughout the day in the life of our fabulous self! I promise you, that by only ten minutes a day, you will see reduced stress levels in yourself, along with less anxiety and a more peace of mind/inner calm.

-love and peace, J.

5 Steps in Creating Your Oasis With Feng Shui

I spent the day reorganizing and “feng shui-ing” my workspace. I live in a small studio apartment, so naturally my desk is usually filled with the things that don’t quite have a place to go, which I find strange that there are always those things that don’t seem to “fit” anywhere. I have always been quite attuned to what energies my environments hold, and what that does to my state of mind, so it was clear I needed to do some creative work to where I will be needing my most inspiring thoughts.

Here are 5 steps to help feng shui your own space, whether it be your workplace, living room, bedroom, kitchen, office, bathroom.. anything that’s a room!

 

 

1. Set the stage. Before you do anything else, make sure to take away anything that doesn’t belong there or has a different energy of what you are trying to create. I have heard more than a few stories of couples who take out the tv in the bedroom, and then report to have exponentially better sex lives! Take time to bring in anything that will enhance the room/space as well, such as candles, positive notes, memorabilia.. have each item individually, and as a whole send the right message.

2. Add in a touch of Mother Nature. Greenery always livens up any space and brings oxygen to help us breathe more deeply. Bamboo plants are easily maintained and creates balance to that around it. If what you need more is a splash of colour, take a walk in your neighborhood and pick some fresh flowers. I like to have trees in the corners of my living space, to bring me back to my roots. Nature is very grounding and reminds us to keep things simple.

3. Personalize. Give everything an excuse for being there, display your books, photos, those rocks and shells you picked up from the beach, the poem you wrote, memoirs etc, anything that represents YOU. Give it a place! Items that do not represent you or your experiences should be tossed or donated! Keep in mind what kinds of associations you have towards it, before displaying.. are they positive and encouraging? Or negative and draining? Over-cluttering will not do you any good either… what does your oasis look like?

4. De-Clutter. This is a big one, if your things can’t breathe, you can’t breathe. Keep that close in mind! Think those messy drawers aren’t hurting anybody? Wrong! They’re hurting your universe and energy! The mere fact of you knowing where a mess is, prevents a clear and free mind. Physical clutter, is mental clutter. Surely, most of those things can move on to  another life/person right? In this step… be honest. If you find yourself compromising, really think about what you are compromising. A solution could be to have a “maybe” pile, and go through it all afterwards, only keeping what you need. In this case, minimal really is best.5.

5. Atmosphere. Essentially, this whole post is about atmosphere, but I’m talking about lamps, candles, incense, music (soft piano to head-banging), inspiring artwork, crystals, rocks, shells, colours, scents, let’s not forget about comfort! I tend to gravitate towards soft light, essential oils, lots of pillows and blankets, candles, affirmations… Really, just have things around you that make you feel good being there, that is what we are trying to create here after all! If you have never experienced or noticed different light sources, try experimenting using lamps instead of ceiling lights, we are very affected by how we absorb light, and what type of light it is.

 

Happy energy moving!

-love and peace, J.

What It Means To Be A Woman

 Let’s face it ladies, we are still living in a “man’s world.” I say   this because we live in a world mostly ran by masculine traits, as we have for a while now… tick tock, where is the balance? I like to refer to how the Chinese have expressed it as, “Yin(f) and Yang(m), we can see easily with this symbol how delicate this balance really is.

 The beauty of these opposites is that they attract each other,      much like magnets. When both the masculine and feminine qualities harmonize, the experience is pure and ultimate magic. To harmonize our energies, we need to first begin to understand the roles of each, and that neither or holds more importance over the other. 

I found a diagram that clearly depicts the qualities of each sex:

Female/Yin: intuitive, collaborative, multi-tasking, emotional, passionate, empathetic, creative, receptive, allows for “flow.”

Male/Yang: analytical, competitive, singular, rational, determined, linear, logical, objective, assertive, goal-directed.

History hasn’t been too kind to women, in many areas of the world, women are still thought of as a lesser people than men, if we are thought of people at all. During WWII, women jumped in the workplaces, replacing the men who had gone to defend their countries. To many women, this was empowering, and had started a shift to a world of greater equality. Since then, women have zoomed up to the top of companies, have equaled men in entrepreneurship, and have fought to reach higher and higher positions every year. Women are on the rise to making more and more money and this means financial freedom; something every women used to depend on a man for. 

Let’s just go ahead and give us a “yeaaaaa girl!”

How did women accomplish this? By using their masculine traits, and suppressing their feminine ones. It is not “appropriate” in most work places to be emotional, intuitive, or even creative. Because of this, now, more than ever, we need to express and embrace our femininity, and not get lost in the masculine rat race.We are losing ourselves, and what makes us Goddesses.

We know we won’t get where we want to be using only feminine, or only masculine qualities, we need to use both. The greatest success comes from a healthy balance. We know this to be true in relationships, what we eat, even our outfits we pick out everyday has a “balance!” 

We come as a package-deal… we have a mind, hot body, heart, soul and spirit. To worship all of our parts, we need to embellish in our thoughts, feelings, sexuality, needs and wants. Don’t be afraid at what you may find! There is nothing scary about the female expression. We can’t expect our friends and partner to understand and cherish us, if we can’t first do that for ourselves. 

-love and peace, J.