Prisoner of the Heart

I wander down this path
Travel through strange lands
I left you sleeping there
You haven’t found me yet

Like a chessboard, I calculate each move
Pawns move up two
You stand there tall and true
History shows me I will destroy you
I pull my arrow back, aiming straight at you

In another time
There would be no such crime
Our fears and past erased
Your soul I would embrace

Your goodness and purity
Nourish and caress my sanity
How do you feed me with life?
With you, everything is right.

Haunted by the ugliness behind me
I guard my vulnerability
Surrounded by the chaotic waves of the sea
I am safe, oh, but never free

Trusting, you give me your heart
Naturally I rip it apart
Blood and tears combine
I am my own worst prophet

Don’t look in my eyes
That empty darkness is where my soul hides
Don’t put your light in there
It will disappear

Leave me now, before I suck you dry
I belong in hell, you came from the sky
Regardless of all I’ve done to you
You pick me up gently, and whisper:
“I love you”

No More “Sorry’s”!

Lately I have come across a few articles, videos and speeches about apologizing.
Let me ask you something: how many times today have you said “I’m sorry”?
Really think about it.

For me, this started years ago… I recognized and heard myself countless times, apologizing for things that are of my human rights. I caught myself saying sorry, when I was really sorry for nothing at all!

Have you ever spoken your mind, and then apologized for it straight after? Not because you are sorry, but to most likely appease the other person’s feelings. How about that time where you  almost walked right into someone turning a corner, and both of you were quick to verbalize everything you are sorry for. Why are we sorry for having opinions, expressing ourselves, turning a corner…living!? Why have we begun to incorporate this phrase into our everyday activities and experiences?

There is something very small about apologizing when no apology is necessary, it is disempowering. Our words are ours to choose, and our words are how we portray ourselves. We are born with the freedom, and the service to say what we mean, and mean what we say. We are holding out on the world, if we are holding out on ourselves. The world doesn’t need “I am sorry”… she needs “I am.”

Powerful examples of “I am”:

1. I am honest with myself, and others.
2. I laugh when a stranger and I almost run into each other, it reminds me to take some time to slow down and appreciate fully.
3. I can tell someone news opposite of what they desire, without apologizing based on their feelings.
4. I am secure with myself to know when to apologize so I genuinely mean it.
5. I love myself so much, that I do not alter who or what I am.

I personally have had it with the useless apologies. There is absolutely nothing sexy about it… agree?
It’s about time we all learn to just BE- without feeling guilty about it.

Peace and Love as always,

~Jasmine

When It Comes To That Family Thing…Dynamics and All

I woke up today feeling a bit strange, and when I say strange, I might, just might mean.. overwhelmed, stressed, and as if I carry all responsibility.

Today is my beautiful mother’s birthday, “Happy Birthday Mumma dear!” The last week I have been trying to plan something, at least a dinner, or getting together, and neither my sister or mum have been able to answer the phone or respond with any information at all. It’s made me feel a bit overwhelmed, and I’ll say it, annoyed! I don’t feel these types of emotions that often, and I am for the most part, quite relaxed and not easily perturbed, but wow am I feeling this today!

While I want to prevent this post from becoming a rant and something I’ll look back on later with more “enlightenment”… I can’t help but feel the need to verbalize everything I want them to know. I feel undervalued and unappreciated. I naturally take the role of leader in my family, and I truly do exert a lot of energy towards their well-being, needs and wants. I think about them every day and how I can help them and take care of them better, now in the present as well as also in the future.

Is there a greater lesson in all of this for me?

My mother isn’t only my mother, but my sister. My brother isn’t just my brother, but also my friend, and my sister isn’t just a sister to me, but a daughter. They represent so much more to me, and reflect who I am. Each with different and unique personalities, they are beautiful. We have gone through many things, and are still going through a few long-lasting experiences that just haven’t finished with us yet, we love, and try our best.

I should turn this into gratitude.

I really am grateful that I have such beautiful beings to share a family tree with. I have learned invaluable lessons from each of them, and we are all on our own journeys. I am grateful I know I always have people to go to in a time of need, or desperation, or if I ever become very lost. Our love we give each other is unconditional, core-based love; I know I can become anything and I will still be loved.

Much of this weight I feel, I put on my own shoulders. I take over most responsibility, guidance, and leadership, because this is what they require of me. This is my service to them, and the role I have been placed in. I of course have the freedoms to change this, but I know I never will. What I can do is understand that I may not be understood all the time, and in turn be there to understand myself. None of us can truly understand one another completely…

I must also remember that I cannot fix what is not mine.

 

 

Thanks for listening ❤

~Love and Peace,
J.

Are They Right For You? 5 Important Things To Ask Yourself

This is something I’ve been asking myself recently. Throughout my life I have attracted men easily which nearly always goes hand in hand with a long list of boyfriends. After my last relationship ended (this past January), I decided the next person I was going to give my body, mind and spirit to would be someone who I felt was completely right for me. This someone would match my soul, fit in with my life’s purpose, as well as cherish and uplift all that I am as a woman. In past relationships I found myself giving my needs or beliefs up, simply because my partner thought differently. Well…! There will be no more of that!

Too many times have I not paid attention to those warning signs in the beginning stages (that are always there), or not take into consideration my friends’ and family’s opinions. In my life, I have reached a point where quite frankly, am sick of spending time and energy, as well as enduring the disappointment and pain that follows all those failed relationships. What’s almost worse, is the right person you may have been able to find if you weren’t so focused on the wrong person. Part of figuring if someone is right for you or not entails not getting blindsided by what we all know as lust, crushing, or “the honeymoon stage.”

Questions I found helpful to ask before committing:

1. What do they expect out of this relationship? What do they expect of you? This might seem like a given, but it is one of the most valuable questions you can ask your partner, as well as yourself. Are they looking to be open or exclusive? Monogamous or polygamous? What is considered cheating? Other people’s views can differ greatly so it is important to never  assume that you know and to discuss what both of you are looking for. If by circumstance, you two hold different views on what is functional and healthy, try to discuss a basis on which you both are comfortable with. If no basis can be reached, don’t settle for what they expect of you. You know best as to what will work and fit into your life, and how you can optimally serve the relationship. Settling will only bring resentment or betrayal in your future together. It is always best to stay true to what you believe in, as hard as it may be to find, rather than commit yourself to something you won’t be able to stay committed to.

2. Are there any unhealthy/destructive habits or patterns? Have you noticed any behaviors that may be problematic in the future? As humans we are not perfect which in turn brings each of us our own imperfections. Things like leaving the toilet seat up are not what I mean by bad habits. Does this person try to dictate or control your actions and decisions? Do they tend to pick fights for no reason at all? What about how they fight? There are many ways we can choose to live out of fear and bad habit. Having a partner that hasn’t cleaned out the ghosts of their pasts or rid themselves of limiting fears will always find ways to bring that into your relationship. Whether they keep it in the form of jealousy, control, sensitivity, paranoia… it will be a strain on what you two are trying to create. Talking to them about their family life, and past relationships may help them to let go of these toxins. One thing to remember though is that you are not there to fix them. We are all responsible for our own experiences and lessons.

3. What kind of attitude do they hold in regards to their past? Future? Are they generally positive or negative? Do they blame others for past experiences? For anyone wanting to be able to put in %100, acceptance and responsibility needs to be put into action. Whatever happens in our world, we are responsible for. When we hold onto and live in fear, we create that fear. When we are able to love ourselves, accept, smile and look to the future, a future can exist. Like many others, I experienced creating exactly what I did not want. After I had been cheated on and betrayed, I played out that experience again by believing it was inevitable, and guess what? Where your intention lies, your destiny does also. Pay close attention to the attitudes that they express to you, as well as your own. This is a great way to acknowledge the things that may have slipped your (or their) letting go.

4. How does their ideal life fit in with your ideal life? What kind of career do they have, or are pursuing? Do they want a family? Marriage? Any desire to travel? More importantly, if you haven’t already, ask yourself these questions! The last thing you want is to find yourself in a life you never really wanted in the first place. Deciding what is important in your future will help filter out all the people who will just slow down your journey and pace of getting there. Think about what you can and can’t live without; the kind of relationship you want in the future. Two of my favorite words: Never Settle!

5. Do they accept you for who you are, unconditionally? Last but definitely not least… personally, this is where my deal-breaker lies. Do they communicate and express how much they love (or like) everything that makes you, you? Do they look at your past choices or “mistakes” (I believe nothing is a mistake) with judgment and ridicule, or acceptance and understanding? In a healthy relationship, both parties need to have the freedom of expression, without their partner’s impending expectations or disapproval. If you or your partner are holding onto any discrimination, disrespect or judgment in any form, love cannot and will not flourish. Love needs air to breathe and grow, it cannot grow in an environment full of restraint, fear and worry.

 

“You cannot save people, but you can love them. And that might just be enough”
–unknown

-Love and Peace, J.

Are Your Friends, True Friends?

“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” -William Shakespeare

A question I asked myself lately was: Are my friends really my friends? Do they enhance, uplift and bring positivity in my life? Or do they darken, drain, and leave me feeling angry or alone?

In some cases, the answer was a little unnerving. I found myself looking for excuses and fighting my own intuition and knowledge. What is it that makes us hold on to bad or un-serving relationships for so long? Well, this one’s easy: You have a heart! You my friend, are a true friend, one who fights for those out of pure love and promise. Naturally things and people that aren’t aligned with your path tend to wean themselves out, but what if they don’t? How can you tell if your friends are true friends?

If you have been asking yourself this lately, chances are there are a few changes you need to be making.

1. You leave feeling drained or angry. I have had this all too much. Even a simple lunch or movie date with a chronically negative or self-absorbed “friend” will have you feeling very undervalued, and unnoticed. How many times have you listened to this person rant, and complain about their lives and situations, but as soon as you feel like sharing or expressing yourself, they tune out? No matter how attentive or positive you may be, they end up taking all that energy away from you, leaving you feeling robbed. People like this could have been great friends in the past, which is why we hold on to the friendship, even though it has changed. No longer is this person bringing light in your life, they are stealing it! Understand that you cannot help them as they need to be helped, they must do that themselves.

Of course, it is a much different story if a friend is going through a temporary hard time. I am in no way condoning that you drop people out of your life because of temporary circumstance. Friends are meant to be there in those hard times. I am more or so, talking about that friend who has treated you like this for years, or however long you feel is too long!

2. You change the way you are around them. Finding yourself changing your personality with certain people is not a good sign. Friends are most likely the people you spend the most time with and if this time is causing you to alter yourself it is not serving you, and neither are they.  Gossiping when you usually don’t, dressing differently, not feeling free to express yourself or going against your personal and moral beliefs are all signs that this friendship will crush your spirit, instead of lifting it. It’s important to recognize who you are around these “friends,” and how it’s affecting your well-being.

3. You don’t feel they bring you closer to your goals. This is where they either “uplift” you or “drain” you. Any goals, dreams and aspirations should be understood and supported by your closest friends. Last week, I noticed that the person I see as my best friend, kept putting down or adding negative comments to everything I tried sharing. Comments like “that’s weird” or letting me know of all the obstacles I’ll have to get through, aka: “You have a slim chance of succeeding” are not positive or supportive in any way. If I chose to listen and buy into the fear she was trying to create, I would get nowhere. How long has this been unconsciously happening with this friend? Listen and notice how your friends choose to show you love and encouragement (or lack thereof).

4. There is constant friction. Friends who you frequently find yourself colliding with, or hard to be around, shows that neither of you are on the same page, or in the same place. What benefit is there of a “friendship” that holds more hard, stubborn times, than simple, flowing times? Either you, or the other is looking for one thing: Conflict. Choosing to have people close to you when you agree on nothing, have completely different outlooks, hold interests that clash or even receiving constant pain and disappointment are signs this relationship is toxic. It is perfectly fine and healthy to let go of friends who bring in drama.

“Never have a companion that casts you in the shade.” -Baltasar Gracian

Ultimately, if you take the time and commitment to look at the people closest to you, you will be able to decide what the best thing for you to do is. Using your inner and higher intuition will enable you to create the relationships and life you want. Remember, you cannot serve your friends, if you do not serve yourself. Allowing toxic friendships to remain, is not an act of self-love, it is self-draining. Look at your closest friends, as they are probably your biggest influences. Letting go of people who don’t fit with your life’s intentions, makes room for others to come in. Attract it!

“Respect yourself and others will respect you.” – Confucius

-love and peace, J.

Do Your Relationships Constantly Leave You Drained?

In my journey recently, I have been led to a place of having and wanting more awareness of who I hold close in my life and which of my friends are actual true friends. Understanding more about myself, and who I genuinely am when all the lights are off with no one around, has brought me to many personal realizations. I have been learning, and accepting the fact that by nature I attract people who in my eyes “need something.” As a giver, I put myself out there, sometimes at personal risk, to help and spend time with these people in order to bring them higher in their lives, whether they are aware they need it or not. This “addiction”of mine, often leaves me feeling deflated, and robbed of my energy after. I know now that how I help people, is by giving them my energy, and taking theirs, as an exchange. This is a common trait of natural born healers.

In order for me to benefit from my friendships and romantic relationships, I must stop seeing everyone as an “assignment” and start loving, accepting, and seeing them only as they are. No longer can I validate such a negative energy exchange, as it truly affects my well-being. It seems I am able to listen for hours on end, to others’ problems, but as soon as I need or want to share something about myself, they tune out, or turn it back around to themselves. This leaves me feeling very undervalued, unappreciated, and alone. I end up resenting my friend, instead of being able to come from a loving and caring place. A healthy relationship, is when both parties lift one another up, and the balance of “give and take” is reciprocated.

What can we do to keep our energy and happiness levels at a constant high? Here are some things I have been experimenting with whenever I find myself feeling drained or compromised.

Practice energy shielding. Shielding means visually creating a cocoon of light around yourself. This only takes a few seconds, and is recommended before you are about to help someone so they can’t transfer any of the toxins they’re releasing to you. Just by holding the intention to shield yourself, makes it happen and puts it into effect. You will notice when you consciously surround yourself with a protective layer of light, you leave feeling just as energized as you came. I learned this technique from Doreen Virtue, one of my favorite spiritual authors. She describes different colours of energy shields in her book “Earth Angels”:

• White Light: Invokes the angels around you to surround you without interruption. The angels protect you, and the ensure that you’re safe and guarded.

• Pink Light: Invoke if you’re with a negative person who’s obsessed with their problems. The pink light sends loving energy outward toward everyone who talks with you, and simultaneously send loving energy inward toward yourself. Nothing can permeate this pink shield except loving thoughts and energies.

• Emerald Light: See or feel yourself surrounded by this light whenever you want to heal some imbalance in your physical body. Your body absorbs this light wherever is needs healing energy.

• Purple Light: Imagine yourself shrouded in royal purple light, which elevates your spiritual frequency, enabling you to rise above problems and contact the highest level of Divine Guidance. This light also bounces away any lower energies, entities, or earthbound spirits.

• Rainbow Light: See or feel yourself wearing a coat of rainbow stripes, which boosts your ability to conduct energy healing work on yourself or others.

Practice energy clearing. In the possibility you forget to shield yourself before an energy exchange, you will want to regularly cleanse and wash away the fear from your own thought, or those of others you have absorbed. Fatigue is the most common effect of these lower energies. Learn to cut your cords. Each person in your life, attach etheric cords to you, when they need something from you. This means that after they leave you, they are still capable of drawing energy from you. In addition, they are able to send toxic energy towards you as well. A good way to do this is to visualize cutting each cord with scissors, or a large knife and feel how thick that energy is that you are releasing from your body.

Connect with nature. When feeling stressed or tired, taking a walk outdoors is one of the best things you could do. More effective than a cup of coffee, live plants and trees hold a gift of drawing toxins out of your mind and body, grounding you and bringing things back into perspective. The energy field in a forest or park, is much different than that of an office or workplace, filled with florescent lights  and stuffy air. There is not one situation where getting outside would not benefit you.

Take a Himalayan-salt bath. Himalayan salt helps draw out toxic energies from your pores. Make sure that the salt has no synthetic scents, or artificial colours, to prevent bringing more chemicals into your body. Works most effective in its raw form.”

“There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.”
– Aldous Huxley

To be able to stay centered and energized in your daily happenings, and with the people who come into your life is a very important skill to learn to contribute to your well-being. However, this goes hand in hand with who you let come into your life, and what negative reoccurring things you have the power of releasing. Why go through all this trouble, with people and things that don’t enhance your life in any way? In this article I write about how to know when it’s time to let go of those who drain us, to make room for more healthy relationships.

-love and peace, J.

Forgive Yourself First

“It’s not just other people we need to forgive, we also need to forgive ourselves.”
Ourselves?
“Yes, for all the things we didn’t do. All the things we should have done. You can’t get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened. That doesn’t help you when you get to where I am.”
-Morrie, “Tuesday’s With Morrie”-Mitch Albom

Most of us know that forgiveness plays an important part of our lives and our relationships. We know that in order to continue flourishing, we need to let go of grudges, release past emotions, and conquer our resentments. But what about that person who so rarely receives your forgiveness? The one who deserves it most?

That person is YOU. Who else in your life is more deserving of your acceptance, understanding and love? Without self forgiveness, and letting go of all the guilt you may carry in your heart, you will be heavily burdened. The time is now to move on from the past. Nothing can be changed, but something can be gained. Gain the wisdom and knowledge by tackling those haunted memories that bring you fear, guilt, insecurities, shame, anger, disappointment, self-doubt and at times depression. Love and accept yourself as an imperfect being, and replace those negatives, with lessons that serve you.

We are all meant to make mistakes, it’s part of what makes life so interesting as without them, we would have no growth. Learn to appreciate your mistakes, and see them as opportunities to grow and improve yourself. Embrace your flaws and let those expectations disappear with the rear view mirror. We are headed towards a new path now!

Live in the present, and stop carrying the past with you. We cannot change or control what has already happened, our powers are effective only when used in the Now, which in turn set the path for our tomorrows’. Free yourself of all past energies that don’t bring value into your life and replace them with new thoughts of positivity and encouragement. Love can and will not exist, when you are focused on anything fear- based.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”  Gandhi

Sometimes we can think of forgiveness as a weakness, as if we are saying it is “okay” to make that mistake, but the act of forgiving is quite the opposite, it is a sign of strength. To forgive, whether it’s for your own mistakes, or what someone else has done, is a gift to yourself; there is nothing more self-serving, than releasing the negative resentments we tend to hold on to for too long.
Let it go. Most of the things we have a hard time letting go of, weren’t initially intended to hurt us but somehow ended up as less desirable outcomes; people make mistakes. Love yourself in order to love others, try to develop the ability to see people and our experiences as lessons. Exercise your mind and heart to release self-limiting attachments, and anything you find stunting your growth.

-love and peace, J.

The Power of Meditation

 “You are not a body with a soul, rather a soul with a body.” Wayne Dyer

As something I have just recently started, at least seriously, I can already feel the shift and energy it is bringing into my life. Last week, I went to a Heart Chakra meditation which was specifically meant to target our 4th Chakra: Heart. This is our “human” chakra, where we feel emotion; this is where our relationships and how we interact with others is governed. This type of meditation is focussed on releasing any fear and sadness you may be holding, to be replaced with compassion and love. This particular chakra/energy zone is thought of as our “center” as it links both our lower chakras, and upper chakras together. If this chakra is underactive, or overactive, we feel very off-balanced in all areas. It is important to be attuned with what your body is telling you and learn about each of your chakras, to reach your ultimate potential.

Personally, this experience was deeply emotional for me. The setting was very intimate, held in the apartment of the couple who was holding it, with only seven of us present, none of which I really even knew on a personal level. It started with 45 minutes of self-meditation, followed with a time to share for anyone feeling an interest in expressing themselves. Now, you don’t know me, but I am not the person who jumps up and down when someone asks me to share how I’m feeling, in fact I’m the person who finds an excuse to leave the room (hiding in bathrooms is a specialty of mine). But on this particular day, something in my mind was altered. Here I was, very comfortable, relaxed, in touch with myself, around accepting people.. what would be my reason not to? It would only be my very own fears inhibiting my self-expression. So I shared. That alone was a huge step for me, let alone, crying in front of the whole room. But you know what? It was very cleansing, and allowed me to experience the acceptance of other people, strangers really. To experience a place of love by people that held no judgment of what I was telling them, or what emotions I was showing, was an experience of pure joy. I cannot express what I have learned about the power of expression.

The only reason I was able to experience this was because I had cleared my mind and body of any thoughts that were self-limiting. This is exactly, in my opinion, the power of meditation. To erase any feelings and re-occuring thoughts and worries of the day, for even just 5 minutes of  your day can be extremely beneficial. When you think about how many thoughts the average person has a day (I’ve read it’s close to 70,000), no wonder clearing your mind can be so invigorating. As we clear out the clutter, we give ourselves a “clean slate,” giving us the opportunity to start fresh from that point on. What a free-ing concept!

What reason do you have not to meditate? No time? No motivation? It doesn’t take much for one to see positive effects of clearing the mind, a mere 10 minutes a day would be sufficient to start with. I’d recommend taking 5 minutes when you wake up to sit in silence, maybe on the balcony, or in your backyard.. somewhere you won’t be disturbed. Along with this morning routine, it is helpful to take another 5 minutes before bed to allow yourself to “de-brief” from the day and detach from all our inner chaos we collect throughout the day in the life of our fabulous self! I promise you, that by only ten minutes a day, you will see reduced stress levels in yourself, along with less anxiety and a more peace of mind/inner calm.

-love and peace, J.

What It Means To Be A Woman

 Let’s face it ladies, we are still living in a “man’s world.” I say   this because we live in a world mostly ran by masculine traits, as we have for a while now… tick tock, where is the balance? I like to refer to how the Chinese have expressed it as, “Yin(f) and Yang(m), we can see easily with this symbol how delicate this balance really is.

 The beauty of these opposites is that they attract each other,      much like magnets. When both the masculine and feminine qualities harmonize, the experience is pure and ultimate magic. To harmonize our energies, we need to first begin to understand the roles of each, and that neither or holds more importance over the other. 

I found a diagram that clearly depicts the qualities of each sex:

Female/Yin: intuitive, collaborative, multi-tasking, emotional, passionate, empathetic, creative, receptive, allows for “flow.”

Male/Yang: analytical, competitive, singular, rational, determined, linear, logical, objective, assertive, goal-directed.

History hasn’t been too kind to women, in many areas of the world, women are still thought of as a lesser people than men, if we are thought of people at all. During WWII, women jumped in the workplaces, replacing the men who had gone to defend their countries. To many women, this was empowering, and had started a shift to a world of greater equality. Since then, women have zoomed up to the top of companies, have equaled men in entrepreneurship, and have fought to reach higher and higher positions every year. Women are on the rise to making more and more money and this means financial freedom; something every women used to depend on a man for. 

Let’s just go ahead and give us a “yeaaaaa girl!”

How did women accomplish this? By using their masculine traits, and suppressing their feminine ones. It is not “appropriate” in most work places to be emotional, intuitive, or even creative. Because of this, now, more than ever, we need to express and embrace our femininity, and not get lost in the masculine rat race.We are losing ourselves, and what makes us Goddesses.

We know we won’t get where we want to be using only feminine, or only masculine qualities, we need to use both. The greatest success comes from a healthy balance. We know this to be true in relationships, what we eat, even our outfits we pick out everyday has a “balance!” 

We come as a package-deal… we have a mind, hot body, heart, soul and spirit. To worship all of our parts, we need to embellish in our thoughts, feelings, sexuality, needs and wants. Don’t be afraid at what you may find! There is nothing scary about the female expression. We can’t expect our friends and partner to understand and cherish us, if we can’t first do that for ourselves. 

-love and peace, J.