My experience (almost) baring it all…

This recent full moon has seriously shown me that no matter how much I think I’m in control.. this world is still greater than I. The last few days has been so off for me. I have felt completely disconnected to everyone around me, myself, and the Earth. Even trying to do the simplest tasks have been nothing but challenging. Picking out an outfit to wear left me laying on the floor, making loud angry noises, finding something to eat resulted in an outburst of tears and an overwhelming feeling of pity for myself. Home all alone, and I am acting completely out of control.

What to do?

A good friend of mine and I had plans to have a beach day. In my state, I wasn’t sure how I was going to accomplish this… It was already mid afternoon and I was still at step 1 in my daily activities. I called him to tell him what I was going through, not really expecting him to fully understand what I was expressing.. but to my surprise he understood fully. What a lovely Universe to give me friends like this… So grateful.

He told me he was having the same issues today, I suddenly felt a little bit more love come my way. Even though I couldn’t exactly handle being in public, or in anyone’s company, I wanted to be in his. We proceeded to meet, and went out to Wreck Beach. If you are not from Vancouver, Wreck is the only beach you are free to bare all, if you so desire to. I had never been here before.

The second, and I mean the very second we got there, my inner and outer states did a complete 180. I felt at peace with all these carefree and accepting souls. I felt at home, and rejuvenated. I bought a dress as soon as we got there, from one of the vendors set up.. to me this dress symbolized a different world. I| was a different person here, I was natural here, I was just me.

I took off my dress and bared my breasts… the few nerves I had left me instantly. I could breathe. I felt inspired by everyone I was sharing this space with. Watching people walking around smiling, loving, and accepting everyone else, bodies and minds. What a fucking beautiful place. Looking into the eyes of my gorgeous friend made me smile, this is what life is about. Life is about peace, beauty, happiness, laughter, sunlight, nature, connection. I was hit with a profound realization I am in charge of all these things for myself. I do not need to succumb to anything less, I am a powerful force meant to exist in my highest form and capabilities. All those things that seemed heavy before, were now blessings along my path… bringing me to this point of change.

It became crystal clear that I must channel my creative and sexual energies to serve both others and myself. I am blessed with a beautiful body, and am surrounded by love everywhere I go. So easy it is to get lost and become weak.

I am carefree. I am pure love.

I have talents. I have two hands I can make things with. I have gifts to give to others, I am here to serve. I can live by serving. When there is passion, there is a path. I am taking the first steps towards an amazing future.

I live in a world where no limits exist. I am CAPABLE. I am FREE. Today I start living as I want to, living in my desires, and creating a world I thrive in and am in love with.

My eyes, heart, soul, mind and body are opening.